I recently found myself with a friend – who is always talking about the help she needs with this and with that. And what did I do?  Of course I offer to help WITH ALL OF IT!  Yes  I had a weak moment. 

Now if I were to take a bit of my own coaching medicine what would I have done differently?  I would have zippered my mouth and waited for her to ASK me for help. This has been going on for decades and is such an ingrained personal reaction it requires me to be consciously aware on a daily basis.  

 What’s this really about?  For me it’s almost a genetic component of who I am as well as something taught by my over-helping mother.  I learned early on, it’s how to show love and how to feel loved.  Ah I have a personal need to help others – so I’m filling a need!  It’s also part of my high achieving personality. But in helping to this degree, it puts me on the back burner in some situations. 

Can you relate with this?  Many of my high achieving clients have the same affliction of over-helping.

 How does this affect your ability to accomplish your own goals and focus on the things that are important to you?  

 Could it be one of the reasons we are so exhausted?  Many of us do this at home, at work, with friends, and at organizations.  What’s left for us?  Don’t get me wrong, I believe in doing wonderful things for those we love and the things we care deeply about. But how exhausted are you from all this helping?

 Just imagine how much extra time I would have to take care of me if I simply minded my own business? Yep, if you’re like me, you may be spending too much time solving the problems of your partner, your children, your friends, your co-workers and the world.

Sometimes we think we should involve ourselves in our family’s problems but in reality, they really don’t like it.  They only put up with it because they love us. They say, “OK,” or “Yes, dear,” really hoping we will just stop.  Ouch! Yes, it’s true.

 Here is some food for thought. If it’s hard to reign this in for yourself, maybe you need to do it for them. Remember every time you do something for someone, you take away an opportunity for their own growth. Yes, this applies not only to children, but to adults and organizations.

 So what do you need to be more conscious of? Where do you need to draw the line?  What do you need to STOP doing for others so you can take better care of yourself starting right now?


Making change happen WITHOUT awareness is hard.  On our own, the real energy is spent within each one of us, to make a change. Or thinking about why we need to change. Or how we need to change. That’s a big struggle which can be exhausting!   I call this “push forward change” – pushing to make the change happen – aka – the hard way.  Many try this approach to only give up because it’s just too much work to make the change.


So what’s the alternative? How does one ensure that the path to awareness is not so tiring that we give up – rather it is so enlightening that we transform like a caterpillar into a butterfly, we change seamlessly, without the pain.


I like to take a different approach to change with my clients. We focus on their “blind spot,” that place we all have where we cannot clearly see ourselves, all by ourselves. It’s something that has been appreciated by every client of mine, bringing sight to their “blind spot” – and it’s worked wonderfully well every time.


Simply put, we typically need help to create a new sense of awareness – that “Ah Ha” moment which allows us to shift our thinking.  This is when the “pulled forward” approach to change happens allowing us to be pulled and easily flow into the change we desire.  When awareness is created first, you’ll see how much easier change occurs. 


This brilliant article written by Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. asks you to be a little vulnerable and take a risk by asking others (friends or trusted sources of course) for their perspective of you.  Yes, it takes courage, but the payoff can be dramatic and immediate. Just the experience of this exercise can strengthen your communication skills and boost your Emotional IQ leading to stronger and more satisfying relationships.  


Read on for Dr. Ekroth’s thought provoking exercise.



Without Awareness There is No Change

By Dr Conversation  - Loren Ekroth, Ph.D.


We are bound by our habits, and they are almost always out of our awareness.  Unless someone draws our attention to a habit, we don’t notice it.  Your mother may have told you sternly, “Don’t talk with your mouth full”.  Made aware, you eventually swallowed your food before speaking up.


However, most of your friends and co-workers don’t tell you about your troublesome conversation habits.   Why not?  They don’t want to hurt your feelings and get you mad at them.   If you have a particularly egregious habit, like taking over a conversation, you may be embarrassed to be told of it.  (Also, they don’t want you telling them about their own bad habits with a “You, too!” response.)


Even highly-trained psychiatrists were surprised to discover some problematic communication habits they exhibited when they viewed videos of their behavior during a consulting session.  Like fidgeting or looking impatient or frustrated.  “Wow, I had no idea I was doing that,” some said.


The classic graphic known as the “Johari Window” is a useful tool for interpersonal communication.  We are aware if certain things about ourselves and unaware of others.  The upper right quadrant below is called the “blind spot” area we aren’t aware of.  Sometimes it’s called the “bad breath” area that even our best friends may not tell us about because it’s embarrassing.  So that might be the province of a doctor or dentist.

                         Johari Window


                        Known to self      Not known to self







Blind Spot





To Others










Top athletes have coaches to tell them what they can change.  Professional musicians take master classes. Devotees of personal development participate in group therapy to learn how their behavior affects others.  All of these folks invite feedback to learn about their blind spots.  Only then can they make changes.


Most of you are very good at seeing other people’s blind spots, things that they do or ways that they behave about which they are not aware.  You could write a long list of your friends’ blind spots. But would you ever say it to them? No, because it’s one of the most difficult things to do, to bring someone to see that they’re doing something that they’re not aware of. People are terrified of this. Like ripping a bandage off a tender wound. 


But what we rarely think about is the possibility that we have just as many blind spots as other people do.


How to Become More Aware:


1.  Record yourself talking to another person.  Video is best, audio can be helpful. Then view or listen to your conversation behavior.  Surprised?  Probably.  Make notes of what you observe that reduces your effectiveness.  (Like “talking very fast.”)


2.  Buddy up with a good friend who also wants to get feedback.  Ask that friend 3 questions: 


1.   When I’m talking, what do I do that helps the conversation?

2.   When I’m talking, what do I do that gets in the way?

3.   What changes, if any, would you recommend?


Then you answer the same questions for your friend.


Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills.  Complimentary weekly newsletter on his resource website,





How courageous are you? Just imagine the changes you can make in other areas of your life just by applying this model!


Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach



LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/tinaelliot

Twitter  www.twitter.com/tinaelliot

Facebook  http://tinyurl.com/synergycoaching

According to recent research by job placement firm – Manpower, 84% of employed people are planning to look for new work in 2011 – up 24% from last year. This is a huge wake-up call to management. http://money.cnn.com/2010/12/23/pf/workers_want_new_jobs/index.htm


If you have not implemented a solid strategy to keep your best employees, you may find yourself struggling to meet demands as the year progresses.


Don’t know where to start?

Contact my office for a complimentary 20 minute strategy call that covers the 4 critical topics to ensure you keep your best performers inspired, engaged and productive.  


Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach



LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/tinaelliot

Twitter  www.twitter.com/tinaelliot

Facebook  http://tinyurl.com/synergycoaching





The Holidays are typically some of the most stressful times of the year.  Yes, it’s about fun, family, parties, gifts, too much food and drink.  But in today’s fast paced world, it can become overwhelming to “get it all done.” Many times we think we have to “do it all,”  “make it happen” and “it has to be perfect.” However, there are ways to ease the pressure, have more fun, and thoroughly enjoy your holidays by keeping focused on what matters most.


Playing Dysfunctional Family Bingo can ease the stress of dealing with your relative from h*ell, allowing you to take control of a potentially nerve-racking event and turn it into a fun social science project.


  1. Play Dysfunctional Family Bingo

  Many of us have a relative or two who can change our festive holiday dinner into an energy stealing event…if we allow it.  Are you ready to take charge of your thoughts and emotions and no longer allow negative Aunt Nellie to steal your good mood?  Take the link below for game instructions and begin laughing your way through all your holiday gatherings.



2. Manage Your Time–Don’t Let It Manage You

 Decide what your priorities are regarding holiday events such as parties, family functions, gift buying, cooking, and all other related activities. Put them in order of YOUR priority and allocate plenty of time with deadlines for each. Be realistic, many of us misjudge the time required for our tasks. I use a time management model as follows:  determine the time you think is required to complete the task and double it, Yes, DOUBLE IT!  This technique will save you from being stressed out and running around Mach II with your hair on fire trying to get your tasks completed. 


 3. Do Not Over-Commit.

 Learn how to say NO, kindly but firmly. A great technique to make sure you are not over-extending yourself, is NEVER commit on the spot. Say, “thank-you for the invitation, but I’ll need to get back to you.”  Then, take a look at your schedule and your priorities and see if this event works for you. If you find at party time that you are tired or feeling ill, graciously cancel. Don’t play superman or superwoman as the only one who pays for that role is you.


 4. Less Is More

 Excess is out and simplicity is in. So think, *less is more.* We do so many things at the holidays that we don’t realize how much time and energy it will take from us in the end. We often want to do it all but consider doing less: not seeing as many people, limit the holiday cards you send, the money you spend, and the goodies you cook. Simple and easy means healthier physically and financially as well as creating a simple but quality experience for those you love.   


 5. Shift from being the “Doer” to the “Delegator”

 Many of us tend to be “doers” feeling we have to “do it all” and forget that there are others very capable of helping out. “Set a good example of effective leadership. Take a look at your tasks and determine what can be delegated to others.  I know some of you will say “It’s easier to do it myself.” I urge you to think twice about that as you are taking opportunities away from others to interact, learn and be good team players.  Does this task REALLY need to be done perfectly? Most likely not unless you’re baking a soufflé or performing brain surgery. Is it time for a little perspective? 


Happy Holidays from Synergy Coaching!


Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach

Life Strategist

Certified Wellness Coach



My clients come to coaching for a myriad of reasons: finding the right job, taking the next step in a career, creating a successful business, enjoying  retirement, and finding their life purpose.  What is the common thread in accomplishing all of these desires? Understanding your Personal Needs and Values.


If your personal needs are not getting met you may feel cranky, tired and out of sorts.

If your personal values are not being honored you may feel like your life and work is drudgery, exhausting and a drag.


Here are a few tips to gain clarity on what might be making you feel exhausted and holding you back from living a life of peace, calm and purpose.


Unmet needs will take the steering wheel of your life and drive you until they are met and many times you are not consciously aware that this is happening.


How to determine if we are living out of sync with your needs:


1. Do you find yourself doing exactly the opposite of what you want to accomplish?


2.  Do you find yourself being the tough girl or guy – saying:  “Nah, I don’t need anything from anyone.”


Most likely they are unmet needs.



Are you living out of sync with your personal values? 


1. Do you feel a lack of enthusiasm in your life and/or work?


2. Is it taking a lot of energy to do what you do everyday?



Tips To Get Your Needs Met:


1. Determine the needs that are driving you. A couple of examples:  Are you always hoping for appreciation and not getting it?  Do you feel stifled with a lack of freedom in your life? 


2. Start taking action with yourself – what changes can you make to meet your own needs.


3. What conversations do you need to have at home or at work to get your needs met?




Tips to Uncovering Your Personal Values:


1. Take some down time and list what you have always loved to do. What did you like to do as a child, a teenager and as an adult?


2. Re-engage in some activities that bring you joy, fun or excitement. See if you get into “the zone” and lose track of time. Most likely, it’s a value.


If you are stuck and need help to uncover your core personal values and needs, contact me to complete a needs and/or values assessments to get clarity on both.  Watch your life become easier and flow more naturally, start living in peace and calm, easily attracting new and exciting things in you life.


Don’t let 2010 pass you by, a complimentary coaching call could be just what you need to kick-start a new way of living.


Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach

Certified Wellness Coach

ICF (Ethics) Independent Review Board

ICF Credentialing & Accreditation Committee



 LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/tinaelliot

Twitter  www.twitter.com/tinaelliot

Facebook  http://tinyurl.com/synergycoaching


“Each one of us has a fire in our heart for something.

It’s our goal in life to find it and to keep it lit.”

       Mary Lou Retton


In a recent meeting with my coach I talked about a conversation I had with a loved one on a touchy subject.  The kind that could morph into one of those “who’s right and who’s wrong” conversations.  


My coach said, “Wow, I just had an “ah ha” moment! I realize the reason I have a “need to be right” is because I stuff my feelings. When a person has an issue with me and I have stuffed all the issues I’ve had with them over time, all those feelings bubble to the surface and I become defensive.  My need to be right then comes to the forefront and the discussion morphs into that dreaded right/wrong conversation.”


We both had real “ah ha” moments as we unearthed that our “need to be right” stems from our pasts.  This need intensifies when we feel unheard or not listened to and many times traces all the way back to our childhoods.


The moral of this story…..Are you stuffing your feelings?

·        Holding off for a better time to have that conversation?

·        Telling yourself you don’t have time for that conversation?

·        Telling yourself it won’t make a difference?

·        AFRAID to have that conversation, lest the other person gets angry or at the extreme discontinue the relationship?


When we stuff our feelings, it’s exhausting and steals our energy. It damages the relationships with those we love most, because we are not being true to ourselves or honest in our most valued relationships and ultimately living authentically. On top of that, stuffing our feelings feeds that “need to be right.”  When we “need to be right,” we push people away and isolate ourselves from those we genuinely love and care about.


If you sense you may have just a little bit of a “need to be right,” check to see if you are stuffing your feelings.  Ask yourself; “Am I feeling “this need to be right” because I have not been upfront and honest with my feelings when they first appeared?”


So, stop holding back and stuffing your feelings.  Make a point to have important conversations right away.  You will feel more at peace and receptive to others feedback as well as notice your “need to be right “disintegrate right before your eyes. This is a great way to become more self-empowered and get one of your personal needs met at the same time.



Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach

Certified Wellness Coach

ICF (Ethics) Independent Review Board

ICF Credentialing & Accreditation Committee



 LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/tinaelliot

Twitter  www.twitter.com/tinaelliot

Facebook  http://tinyurl.com/synergycoaching


We get excited about attaining our desires and dreams in the New Year. We talk about our goals, write them down, and start the New Year off with a bang and then our momentum starts to dwindle. Statistics show by now 45% of us are veering off our plans. What’s happening?

Some typical mistakes in making “resolutions stick” are:

  • Setting Unrealistic Goals
  • Lack of Clarity About Our Obstacles
  • No Support System
  • Defining Goals Without A Long-Term Plan

But the one thing that I find hampering the success of my clients in attaining their goals and making long-term changes are their BELIEFS. They don’t believe they can make it happen. They don’t believe they can get the new job, lose the weight, turn their health around, be confident, find the relationship they want or create a successful business.

Underneath all the planning and strategizing our personal belief system gets in the way. If we don’t believe we can make it happen, we won’t – it’s that simple. Our beliefs can be powerful and are typically formed from our past experiences with others that many times go back to our childhood. Our beliefs can be formed from interactions with our parents, teachers, employers, friends and those that love us most. But beliefs are just our thinking, that’s it.

Ask yourself:
“What beliefs do I have that are hampering my success?”
“Do these beliefs really fit who I am today?”
“Is it time to let go of those old beliefs and move on to create the success you desire in 2010?”

But how do you start this process? Here are two book suggestions that I find effective in changing beliefs:

The Biology Of Belief: Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter And Miracles
by Bruce H. Lipton, PhD.

Having It All: Achieving Your Life’s Goals and Dreams
by John Assaraf

Want a kick-start to design a doable plan for change in 2010? Do you want to go deep and uncover those negative beliefs that have been holding you back for years?

I’ve opened time in my coaching practice over the next 3 weeks for six complimentary 30-minute coaching appointments that will be given to the first six individuals to contact me before February 8, 2010.

Here is how it works:
Call or e-mail me to schedule your appointment
Bring your vision for where you want to be in 12 months.
We will design a high level plan together; gain clarity on your belief system and the challenges that are hampering your success.
Leave the call with next steps, inspiration and feeling more energized and excited about creating the personal success you desire.

It’s not too late to create an effective plan for the year.

To your success in this new decade!

Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC
Professional Certified Coach

Hello Subscribers:

In this issue, I’ll be discussing research results from Coach Richard Leider, Chairman of Inventure Group, regarding purposeful aging.  Richard was granted a fellowship to study purposeful aging in hopes that this information will lead us to Living The Good Life.  There were huge lessons learned and shared by the interviewed elders in this study.  No matter your age, this is an opportunity to ponder on the wise words of the elders and allow their lessons to help us live more meaningful and purposeful lives without regrets.  Yes, I’m talking about The Good Life!  

See the links at the end of this post for a free program and resources to begin living The Good Life!

There were 3 themes reported by the elders of this study that if given the opportunity, they would have done things differently:

1. More Time For Reflection:
They would have slowed things down, pondered and taken the time to ask the Big Questions. (see the Big Questions at the end of this article).

2. More Risks In Work:
Instead of settling for mediocre, they wished they had looked for work that was more fulfilling and rewarding. Possibly the work of: serving others, for a greater good, making a difference or contributing to the world and its people in a bigger way.
3. More Risks In Love:
They wished they had taken more time to nurture loving relationships and created closer connections with those most important in their lives. 

We all want to live The Good Life of fulfillment and vitality. But what’s required? Reflection, Courage and Purpose were the essentials reported by the elders. The Good Life is about living in a place you belong, with those you love, and doing the right work, on purpose.

Our lives are a series of peaks and plateaus. Sometimes we hit a plateau where life, work and our relationships are humming right along. And sometimes we can sit on a plateau for years being resistant to change.  If we stay on these plateaus for too long, life can begin to feel stale, boring, exhausting or you may even feel like your inner self is slowly dying.

But then a trigger occurs. Sometimes these triggers are positive but many times they are negative, however they are typically a wake-up call. They can be births, new work, new relationships, deaths, health issues, accidents or a life crisis of some nature. Triggers are the fertile ground of change and growth. You can choose to live in limbo with dulled senses or you can choose to take charge of your life and live with purpose – yes I’m talking about The Good Life.  

When a negative trigger occurs, this is where you get to choose to stay focused on the part of your life that caused the chaos or return to the part of your life that has been neglected. This is the point where you get to decide to move on, create happiness and live on purpose.  Each time this occurs in your life, you will move forward with a greater sense of self-worth and self-confidence. This brings a new urgency to life. 

You can choose to take action: re-emerge, explore, get some help, support or coaching to start looking for what makes you happy and begin living The Good Life – ON PURPOSE. 

When you choose to take charge, the universe will always support you by opening a new door, showing you a new direction or by bringing a new person into your life. But you must slow down, reflect and listen for the messages. I am always amazed at the opportunities I see floating around my clients and they are blind to them. But many times with hindsight, they see the opportunities they missed.

Instead of waiting for the next trigger to move you along your path, you can choose to grab The Good Life - living in harmony, health and joy. It really is up to you – you get to choose.

How to Take Action

  1. Take some time to reflect, slow down, ponder and listen to the little voice from deep within you.
  2. Start writing about what The Good Life looks like for you. Putting words to paper is a powerful process to solidify your direction, just watch as the opportunities start to appear.
  3. Get help and support if you need it: Work with a personal coach or start a group and begin talking about The Good Life.
  4. Read a book (see the link below for Richard Leider’s book).
  5. Take a program (free below).

Don’t put yourself in a position to look back later with regret. Ask yourself these questions now:
Why don’t I slow down? 
Why don’t I risk more?

The biggest work I’m doing with my clients today is learning how to live with more passion and purpose. Life is a journey; it’s your journey. You can take the powerful advice from the elders or you can cruise along living on your plateau. Instead, start asking yourself these questions NOW:

“The Big” Questions:
What’s next?
Where do I go from here with my life?
Am I living in the place I belong?
Am I doing the right work on purpose?
What work would make me feel like jumping out of bed in the morning?
Is what I am doing making me happy?

Resources to live The Good Life:

Free Program:
To do more in depth self-work on living The Good Life with purpose, order your FREE workbook and DVD set – Discover What Matters from MetLife NOW featuring Coach Richard Leider.

To order, contact MetLife at maturemarketinstitute@metlife.com or call the MMI directly at (203)221-6580. Include your name and mailing address to receive the free 22-page workbook and DVD.

Richard Leider’s book to help jump-start your progress to living The Good Life on purpose.
Something to Live For: Finding Your Way in the Second Half of Life 
by Richard J Leider and David A Shapiro.  Buy Richard Leiders Book   

Here’s to Living The Good Life!

Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach


We have been hearing a great deal lately about health and wellness in the US from our new administration.  Our current medical paradigm is no longer working as it focuses on disease care: you get sick, go to a doctor, get a prescription, have surgery and just keep doing what you are doing and your health continues to deteriorate year after year. It’s time to change the medical paradigm in the US from treating illness to coaching for optimal health.


 The truly sad and latest research indicates many of us will most likely out live our children and maybe our grandchildren. The increase in obesity, diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure) heart and coronary artery disease have occurred due in most part to our lifestyle habits. I’m not talking about just exercise and diet, I’m talking about the HUGE amount of stress we live with today and how unfulfilled we may be in our personal and/or professional lives. Many individuals do not know what their personal needs and values are and how to live a life that fully expresses them. Many of us feel stuck and some hopeless. We are completely exhausted all the time. We are busily taking care of our work, our loved ones and letting ourselves fall to the bottom of our list. We never have a second to sit down and think about who we were meant to be in this world and how we want to express ourselves in our own lives. You were put here for a reason; do you know what your purpose is?  


Many of the individuals I talk with today are overweight, in pain, have dwindling health, are taking numerous prescriptions and just not engaged in the fantastic gift of their lives. They are doing, doing, doing, getting nowhere and are just plain miserable.  Isn’t it time to stop and find a better way? Who helps you get off the hamster wheel and start living a life of meaning? But of course – a life and wellness coach. I co-create with my clients a life they want to live, because when you live true to who you are, it is easier to live healthily, happily and create true prosperity in all areas of you life. Wellness coaching is really about living in wholeness, with high energy, optimal health, engaging in meaningful work, having supportive and loving relationships, feeling confident and knowing that you are finally comfortable in your own skin. Can you imagine living a healthy, fully engaged life doing exactly what you were put on this earth to do? It’s about living YOUR life on purpose.


A Tool For Greater Wellness

I’ve added a comprehensive wellness program to my coaching business to help you easily assess your current state of wellness, determine where you want to make changes and create a plan to get going!  


The Wellness Inventory Program is a “whole person” assessment and lifestyle program designed to help you gain personal insight into your state of physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. The program offers guidance and tools to transform this new awareness into lasting changes in your life, and a renewed sense of health and wellbeing.



You may want to take the Wellness Inventory Assessment and proceed on your own. No problem, this program is available to you for a year to work through each of the 12 dimensions of wellness, design a wellness plan and re-assess yourself again to see the improvement in your personal wellness. It’s a powerful process to see your life graphically displayed with a summary of the dimensions you most want to change and a list of the areas to begin your work to live in wholeness.


As a way of introduction to my subscribers, I’m offering a special discount for the month of March and April that includes the assessment, a year of access to the on-line program, all resources and a 60-minute planning meeting to get you started for $126 that’s a 40% discount off the regular price of $210. I will coach you on this call to uncover the priority areas you want to start improving and begin designing a plan that works for you. This process is not painful, it’s enlightening, inspirational and you will begin to see your life in a new light with brand new awareness – that’s what makes change easy.  


No more excuses, no more wasted energy, no more wasted time. Let’s go! Call my office or e-mail me to learn more about how you can get on track to live the life you know in your heart you were meant to live.


The following link provides detailed information on the Wellness Inventory Program.  




Not ready to see the truth of your life visually in the Wellness Inventory Wheel? It’s ok, we all make changes in our own time or when we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know some of my client’s come to work with me when they have completely fallen off their list and others come when they are still on their list but know something is not right in the way they are living their lives. It’s a personal decision.


Here are a few first step questions to begin improving your wellness:  

  1. How is your thinking holding you back from the wellness you desire?
  2. What thought patterns do you need to change to take a step towards wellness each week?
  3. What one small step do you need to take tomorrow to start improving your wellness?

To Your Health and Wellness!

Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC

Professional Certified Coach

Certified Wellness Inventory Coach





















We have been hearing about many tragic and sad stories over the last few months. With the fear and media hype about the economy, who would not be affected by all that’s happening? Center stage are comments like: “economic meltdown, economic crisis, we’re heading for another 1920s depression.” Ugh…are you sick of it yet?

I have been talking with many people that are just plain freaked out about their finances, their futures, their jobs and keeping a roof over their heads. It’s true there are some sad stories in fact you may have your own. But why did this really happen? What’s YOUR lesson to learn? Is it possible it’s time to take a good hard look at your life and how you may need to start living a more meaningful and connected life?

I ask you what really matters? Is it all the material items, the boards over our heads, the healthy financial balances in our accounts? I don’t think so; what matters are people and our relationships. So how do we start to focus on people, our relationships and living a more meaningful life?

Gratitude is a great place to start. It’s about taking the time and the thought to say thank you. It’s about being kind and gracious. Gratitude has the power to transform your relationships, circumstances and the ability to create positive momentum in your life. It can be a powerful tool in attaining some peace and leading you to the authentic life you want.

According to a recent study on gratitude by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, professors at University of California at Davis and University of Miami, people who regularly wrote down or contemplated what they are grateful for wound up feeling more optimistic, slept better and exercised more. Their counterparts, who wrote and focused on what upset them or how they compared to others did not have positive benefits.

How to get an attitude of gratitude:

Take a few minutes to make a list of what you are grateful for. Really look at it on paper; it’s a powerful representation of all the goodness in your life.

Before you go to sleep at night, think about what you’re grateful for from your day as well as what’s on your gratitude list. This process can also be done in the morning to kick-off a great start to your day.

Begin using language to express your gratitude. Instead of just thanking someone, tell them how grateful you are that they are in your life, be it your partner, your child, your sibling or friend. Really share your gratitude about that person and how they have helped you or impacted your life. They will just beam at hearing the appreciation and you will feel wonderful for sharing it. Share it – gratitude is contagious.

And for gosh sakes, quit watching or reading the news! Ok, minimize it for awhile. This will allow you to feel more at peace and live in the present moment.

When you are grateful and focus on the goodness in your life, you unlock the secret to feeling peace. When peace is present, you can create more in your life. Be careful of what you are grateful for, you may just get more of it.

I urge you to practice more gratitude in your life and see what unfolds for you this Holiday Season and in the New Year.

Wishing You and Your Loved Ones a Grateful and Purpose filled Holiday Season!


Tina Elliot, MBA, PCC
Professional Certified Coach